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19 November 2010 @ 02:45 pm
( the social network - jesse & andrew - teenage dream )  
teenage dream
a jesse eisenberg & andrew garfield fanmix


THIS IS PURE CRACK OK. so here's the deal: i have a tumblr. and tumblr loves andrew garfield. so i love andrew garfield. there was only one problem. i'd never seen him in anything. i was also starting to ship him with jesse and i'd never seen the social network. i needed to get on that. so i watched it with my roommate and it has spawned a whole new level of crack in our lives. (like seriously, we eat sleep and breathe the internet so we are already half crack) first, we started andrew garfield is bambi and now, every song we hear we rewrite on a whim to be about andrew and jesse or mark and eduardo. it's only a problem because i am behind on schoolwork but i just don't give a fuck. anyway, after listening to a bunch of ridiculously cheesy pop music and realizing that those are the ones that fit them best, this mix happened. most of them are from andrew's pov because we love his little magical woodland creature self and since pop songs are sung by girls and he is obviously the girl in this relationship.

DISCLAIMER: if you like normal pretty music where the lyrics are ~deep like a puddle~ and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts, this is probably not the mix for you. but you should know that it is definitely real life that they are ridiculous and married and listen to katy p in their apartment together, obviously.

01 | your love is my drug - ke$ha

What you got boy, Is hard to find
I think about it all the time
I'm all strung out, My heart is fried
I just cant get you off my mind


My friends think I've gone crazy
My judgments getting kinda hazy
My esteem is gonna get affected
If I keep it up like a lovesick crackhead


I get so high when you're with me
But crash and crave you when you leave

Hey, so I got a question
Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement?


Because your love, your love, your love, is my drug

andrew to jesse } Oh Bambi. So addicted to Jesse. Idk, to me, in every relationship, there is one that obviously loves the other just as much but definitely doesn't show it because I don't even know why but it just happens. I feel like Andrew is totally showy and ridiculous and always like, "Jesssssse! Love meeeee, hold meeeee, be with me forever, put your dick in my box, etc etc." Totally fried heart, can't get you off my mind, making poor life choices, high on your face, lovesick crackhead in love with Jesse. (And of course, basement slumber party in love with him. This totally makes me want to write basement slumber party fic where they get way too drunk and try to talk about feelings and Jesse is like, "omg Andrew, why am I feeling like this who are you are you even real" but Andrew is too busy slutting it up and trying to convince Jesse that it is a good idea for him to blow him to answer serious and deep questions like that.)

02 | runaway - kanye west

You been putting up with my shit just way too long
I'm so gifted at finding what I don't like the most


And I just blame everything on you
At least you know that's what I'm good at


Let's have a toast for the douchebags
Let's have a toast for the assholes
Let's have a toast for the scumbags
Every one of them that I know, Let's have a toast for the jerk offs

jesse } Alright so technically, my roommate and I had this song planned out for Mark in The Social Network, who actually is a douchebag (but a really pained, wilting flower, trembling thing of one). But I guess it could work for Jesse. Idk I see Jesse as being ridiculously self-depricating and being all, "Andrew why do you put up with me I am such a shit person how do you do it" and Andrew is just like NO BB U SO BEAUTIFUL LEMME KISS U AND GIVE U A HANDJOB MAKE IT BETTER. And they totally fight and Jesse is like THIS IS YOUR FAULT RAAAAAAGE and Andrew just wants to give him a handjob make it better so he's like OMG OF COURSE IT'S MY FAULT I'M SOWWWWWWWY but then after they have sex, Jesse comes to his senses and is like "nooooooooo this was totally my fault why am I such a douche with a side of bag? Forgive me pleeeeease!" And Andrew totally does and all is well in latke land.

03 | innocent - taylor swift

Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything
And everybody believed in you


Wasn't it easier in your firefly catching days
When everything out of reach someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful running wild 'til you fell asleep
Before the monsters caught up to you


It's alright, just wait and see
Your string of lights are still bright to me
Who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent

andrew } OH ANDREW BB. It was beautiful when you believed in everything and ~everything was beautiful and nothing hurt~ Haha I don't even know. But I think being with Jesse has made him jaded and not so naive and Bambi-esque and yes he's still precious but he knows what people can do to him. Like, it took so much work to convince Jesse that they are a good idea and he still has to convince him everyday but he'll do it, he swears! But it's trying and he just wants to be loved and yes it was easier in his firefly catching days and there weren't any monsters but he's not so young anymore. And Jesse hates that he does this, makes him less precious so he tries to recapture it and tells him that it's ok bb boo even though you may not believe it, you're a unique and beautiful and shiny snowflake and YOU'RE STILL INNOCENT SO LET ME DESECRATE AND RAVAGE THE INNOCENCE RIGHT OUT OF YOU I MEAN WAT.

04 | love the way you lie, part two - rihanna

Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes
But you'll always be my hero, Even though you've lost your mind


Now there's gravel in our voices
Glass is shattered from the fight
In this tug of war you'll always win


But I don't wanna ever leave
'Til the walls are going up in smoke with all our memories


Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie

andrew to jesse } Andrew loves Jesse (and subtly, Jesse loves Andrew). We all know these facts. But I think Andrew also kind of worships Jesse. Like, idk. I think he worships everyone he's friends with in some way. Like Carey and everyone else. But especially Jesse because they are married so it's extra super special. And this is their ~dramatic ballad~ for that. Jesse will always be his hero and they may go down in flames but they've got the beautiful memories and when they go up in flames or whatever Andrew's just like BB U JUST GONNA STAND THERE AND WATCH ME BURN? Y U DO DAT BB? but it's ok cause I love you.

05 | crazy girl - ke$ha

How do you do these things to me
You're like a magician, I can tell you got tricks up your sleeve


I need a straitjacket whenever I get around you
Cause you're like a magnet, I can't help it, I have to touch you


You make me act a little insane
You impair my judgment, You affect my brain like a hallucinogenic amphetamine.
You really know how to get to me


You make me feel a million different things, you make me into a crazy crazy girl

andrew to jesse } Andrew, you a crazy girl. And Jesse just brings out the extra cray cray in you. JESSE YOU'RE A MAGICAL JEWNICORN WHAT KIND OF TRICKS ARE UP YOUR SLEEVE SILLY ANDREW JEWNICORNS DON'T HAVE SLEEVES BUT YOU'RE ALSO A MAGNET CAUSE I'M SO ~ATTRACTED TO U~ AND I'M GOIN INSANE FOR U BB. Basically, every love song by Ke$ha is for Andrew cause he's essentially a glittery puddle of goo around his boyf.

06 | you belong with me - taylor swift

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
What you're, looking for has been here the whole time


And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town


Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh, When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong, Think I know it's with me

andrew to jesse } JESSE WHY ARE YOU WITH LADIES WHAT DO THEY HAVE THAT I DON'T HAVE I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I WAS HALF A VIRGIN WHEN I MET YOU. No but seriously, bb Andrew doesn't get it. He just wants to turn the homo up to 9 and be with Jesse forever. Wear his class ring because they're going steady and promise to wait to have sex til prom at the high school of gay but eventually gives in because c'mon, IT'S ANDREW.

07 | bad romance - lady gaga

I want your ugly, I want your disease
I want your everything as long as it's free
I want your love


I want your drama, The touch of your hand


Walk, walk, fashion baby
Work it, move that bitch crazy
Walk, walk, passion baby
Work it, I'm a free bitch baby


I don’t wanna be friends
Want your bad romance, Want your bad romance

I want your love and I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

andrew } Ok so this is definitely more for Eduardo but honestly, I think they were essentially playing themselves except they were better at the internet but whatever that's just me. But yeah, he wants everything from Jesse but he doesn't like having to pay emotionally because it's so draining WHY WON'T YOU JUST LOVE ME JESSE LOVE ME FOR ME PLEASE but I can change for you bb. And I just think the ~I'm a free bitch baby~ is when Eduardo is all LAWYER UP ASSHOLE CAUSE I'M COMING BACK FOR EVERYTHING AND WHEN I'M WEARING MY SWEET ASS SUIT AND GOT MY BITCHIN COIFFED HAIR AND YOU'RE LOOKIN AT WHAT YOU COULD HAVE HAD, I'M A FREE BITCH BABY.

08 | teenage dream - katy perry

You think I'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong
I know you get me, So I let my walls come down, down


Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete


Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I, We'll be young forever


You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep
Let's runaway and don't ever look back, don't ever look back
My heart stops when you look at me
Just one touch, Now baby I believe
This is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back


I'm-a get your heart racing in my skintight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me in my skintight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

andrew to jesse } THIS SONG GUYS, THIS SONG. It is what inspired this entire boatload of crack. My roommate and I were listening to it and were like OMG ANDREW TOTALLY SINGS THIS ABOUT JESSE HE IS KATY P. Seriously though, this song is their anthem. No seriously go and listen to it and if you don't think that it is really Andrew pouring his slutty heart out then I just do not get you. Jesse loves him for all his ~endearing character flaws~ and his stuttering and messing up American sayings even though his dad is American and he was born in LA and they build forts together and have too much sex in them for them to be considered child-like in any way and they are GODDAMN PUZZLE PIECES ~U COMPLETE ME~ And Andrew is like, Jesse bb, let's go all the way tonight I'm pretty sure I love you please love me Jesse I am livin in a teenage dream even though I am 27 ~forever a young little fawn~ JESSE LOOK AT ME IN MY JEANS THEY MAKE MY ASS LOOK SO GOOD I KNOW YOU WANT IT IS YOUR HEART RACING I BET IT IS DO YOU WANNA PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME I BET YOU DO OK I CAN'T HOLD OUT ANYMORE JESSE PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME IF YOU DO I'LL BE YOUR TEENAGE DREAM TONIGHT.


an //

how did this happen? seriously, how do i manage to do things like this? like, not only do i associate cheesy pop songs with these two, i make a fanmix for them. and not only do i make a fanmix for them, i actually have commentary on why the songs are appropriate. sure, they're mostly full of nonsense and pure unadulterated crack, but they are commentary nonetheless. i owe immense thank yous to one, my roommate who will never read this but she knows i love her. two, the internet/tumblr for spurring on the madness that is my head. and three, of course, jesse and andrew for being jewnicorn homosexuals turned up to 9. without these people, this would have never happened and while it's likely most of the world would never know the difference, my life wouldn't be as joyous if this didn't exist. if you can get through this, i hope you enjoy ♥
coquette coquet: {TSN} sadfacejellyfists on November 20th, 2010 02:38 am (UTC)
na na na na na na na na NAmistrusts on November 20th, 2010 08:49 pm (UTC)
I used to lock myself in your bathroom: courageginevrawp on November 20th, 2010 05:18 am (UTC)

na na na na na na na na NAmistrusts on November 20th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC)
lawl thank you bb ♥ they some crazy hipster jewnicorns.
Rocio: ACTORS // jesse and his tongueerised_mirror on November 20th, 2010 05:40 am (UTC)
This is perfection. I'm in love. And I'm also crying because I'm laughing so much, omg.
na na na na na na na na NAmistrusts on November 20th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC)
wow thank you! it is in love with you back! ♥
YW: Jesse and Andrewyellowwolf5 on November 20th, 2010 09:37 pm (UTC)
This is brilliant <3 Awesome artwork too. Please write fic. It will be epic.
literally Charlotte, sometimes: any way the wind blowsopportunistice on November 22nd, 2010 06:37 pm (UTC)
This is possibly the most epically gay thing I have ever laid eyes on, and yes I have seen the 40 minute interview/jewnicorn lovefest. Your Teenage Dream paragraph is all I have sought in life. Bravo.
mollyambiguousreason on March 1st, 2011 03:24 am (UTC)
I was just linked to this and I LOVE IT and I also love the Andrew Garfield is Bambi tumblr and what I'm trying to say is YOU ARE MY HEROOOOOOOOOO ♥