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29 August 2010 @ 01:12 am
( doctor who - amy pond - mad, impossible )  
mad, impossible | amelia pond and her glorious mane of ginger hair (eleven/amy if you squint) | pg
When the Doctor came to her back garden when she was seven years old, she was speechless.

When the Doctor came to her house twelve years later, she was a little less than speechless.
710 words | just a stream of consciousness, inner monologue, what have you of my favorite ginger | by mistrusts

blindsided ; bon iver
( where my inspiration and some bits of this piece came from. if you've never listened to bon iver, now is a wonderful time to start. his music is beautiful. if you have, you know what i'm talking about. i recommend playing this while reading. )

Amy Pond doesn't pride herself on being a girl of few words. She doesn't even say she is one, although she says lots of other things instead.

When the Doctor came to her back garden when she was seven years old, she was speechless.

When the Doctor came to her house twelve years later, she was a little less than speechless.

But still, even now, she wants to be angry but she can't. Not really.

She does everything he tells her to and she travels with him even though it's her wedding night and he didn't return for another two years and she asks too many questions and accepts that half-answers he supplies and she wanders other universes and times and she cries and she laughs and people leave her and they leave her memories and he remembers. He remembers everything. And he won't talk about it, she knows he doesn't want to hurt her like he doesn't want to hurt anyone else who's ever been her before but she wants to be hurt. She has to know. But the Doctor still doesn't say, doesn't take orders from anyone but himself. Lets people into his magical blue box that's too big on the inside and shows them the whole of space and time and lets them adventure wherever they want but never tells them anything because he can't get too close to anyone.

And she tries. Bet your life, she tries. Mad, impossible Amelia Pond tries so hard, that she feels like there is no way anyone the Doctor has ever travelled with has ever tried so hard. But whenever she stops, she knows that that's not true and that she is just one of so many. She wishes she could could have known this, even at the tender age of seven, wouldn't have understood what it meant, you're not the only one, but at least had the thought in her head so that when the time was right she wouldn't have been so blindsided. Because for all the agony, she'd rather know.

But she didn't know, and even now, mad, impossible Amy Pond still doesn't really know. Will never know anything about the definitely mad man with a box. But through each adventure, a page is turned, a layer peeled, and she starts to grasp what it would be like to have the entire universe, past present and future, at your fingertips and she thinks that maybe, she wouldn't like to hold it forever and the Doctor doesn't either but he has to. So Amy also thinks that, for whatever it's worth, if he's got to hold the cosmos in one hand, he can hold hers in the other.

It's all she can do, but behind every mad man is an even madder woman, and Amy Pond was once a girl of many words but now she is a woman. And the line is pulled taught and she can see through the police box windows as they fly so far away that the moon is a cold light.

But the Doctor smiles, not with his eyes though, so she smiles back when he says, "Where to today?"

And they whiz off through the circuits of space-time, the Doctor circling the TARDIS console, pressing buttons she doesn't know and pulling mysterious levers, and they stop and he looks at her and asks if he looks alright and she nods automatically (inside questioning the bow tie once again but knowing she'll hear bow ties are cool if she brings it up) because really, he as always looks more than alright. Like he could take on the world. And somedays, he does.

Other days he saves it. Without so much as a thank you, because, as Amy has come to realize, being the Doctor is a thankless job. But, as cliche as it is, someone has to do it.

So the Doctor will save the world, no matter which world it is or which time of the world they're in, and even though he doesn't think he needs it, Amy will save the Doctor.

But when there's a pull to the flow, who's going to save Amy? Who's going to rush out for mad, impossible Amelia Pond?


an //
oh mad, impossible amy pond and her glorious mane of ginger hair™ ♥ (yes i realize i have now said some variation of this name probably four or five times but this is what i refer to her as) i can't believe this happened. i can relate bon iver to just about anything in my life, so i'm not surprised by that. but me writing something with no pairing (unless you like reading between the lines) and no ust or completely-obvious-st or anything like that. just straight up monologue. idk. i read these kinds of things all the time and i love them so much. but i'm always scared to write them, cause this is where you have to get their personalities so right because it's only them, nothing to fall back on, yet here this is. i'm still unsure but i think amy is the only character that i could have written this kind of thing. because i really am so much like amy. i'm mouthy and i talk a lot and while i trust no one, i really want to trust everyone so i listen and i help and if the doctor ever found me, i'd leave straight away with him, wouldn't even back a bag. i love rose more than i can ever express (favorite companion ever) but i will always have a special place in my heart for sassy scottish ginger amelia because she is a woman after my own very heart. wow this sounds so ridiculous. anyway. i've never actually written in the who fandom and that thought alone scares me cause it's not like it's relatively new or anything. but i hope i did amy and wobbly wobbly timey wimey justice. love you guys ♥

also. i may or may not (hint: i may) be thinking about making this just one part in a series of eleven & amy fics based on bon iver. i do not actually know why i get ideas like this, but this is just the way my brain works. i'm just thankful that i'm not crazy. or am i?
(Deleted comment)
na na na na na na na na NA: pic#103282243mistrusts on August 30th, 2010 11:46 pm (UTC)
thank you! and thanks for putting it on your rec list as well ♥
F. J.: DW: Amy (tVoV)someplacetobe on August 29th, 2010 02:38 pm (UTC)
Who's going to rush out for mad, impossible Amelia Pond?
Usually, my answer would've been immediate and simple: the Doctor. But after reading this, I simply don't know.

I liked it. A lot.
na na na na na na na na NA: my little ginger spirit animalmistrusts on August 30th, 2010 11:47 pm (UTC)
aw, thanks! ♥ i like to make people think haha :)